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Sep. 15th, 2003

i'm the queen of safe sex. those of you that know me well, know i spend nearly every other weekend passing out condoms in the quarter. i talk about safe sex. i write about safe sex. i practice safe sex.
if you've been reading a while, you also know i've been celibate for a long time.
well, i finally break that celibacy and the fucking condom breaks......
what luck.



( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 15th, 2003 08:49 am (UTC)
yikes! but safe sex is more than just condoms...hopefully said condom-breaker didn't have anything. As for condoms as birth control, one of my teachers in high school used to harp on what happened to you. He used to say, "do you know what they call guys who use condoms for birth control? FATHERS!"

Hope it turns out OK, hun...*hug*
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:01 am (UTC)
No offense, but your high school teacher was a blooming idiot. I'm sure Maia can tell you what the failure rates for condoms are, but they are pretty low. And the line he used is the one for people who use the rhythm method--which is one step up from crossing your fingers and praying. Discouraging high schoolers from using condoms is pretty fucking irresponsible, unless he was personally seeing to it that every single girl in that school was given access to inexpensive no-questions-asked birth control pills or devices. I remember being a teenager--they act on impulse--and there is no more reliable spur-of-the-moment form of contraception out there. And if he was using this as a scare tactic to try to get his students to abstain completely, then he was living in a fool's paradise.
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:13 am (UTC)
i can't believe a high school teacher would say that! condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy. statistics lower than that are caused from using them incorrectly or using lubricants not made for condom use. oil based lubricants will break down the latex in less than an hour.
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:26 am (UTC)
I read on my birth control pamphlet that condoms are roughly 86% effective in normal, every day use.

Like you, I am careful about who my partners are. So in all reality, pregnancy is my number one concern. I use condoms, yes, but I'm also on a birth control that has less than 1% deficiency rate. Better safe than sorry.

I wouldn't worry too much about catching any diseases. The ones that are most common and should be worried about can be caught with or without condoms. Being celibate for a long time, you obviously chose a partner that you trust. So take a deep breath and wait until you get those test results before you panic.
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:59 pm (UTC)
you read that percent because the drug company wants you to take the pill ;)
i would rather keep convincing kids that a condom is best. kids today use them to prevent pregnancy. they don't think about HIV. i keep a basket hidden away in my office. if they want the pill i get nervous. they will stop using condoms....
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:23 am (UTC)
no offense taken, although I would suggest you turn down your rhetoric a bit. I'm 44 years old, and went to an all-boys Catholic school. In 1973 or so (when that converstaion took place), safe sex as we know it was not yet an issue. And condoms do break--I've had it happen to me, and I've got a nephew to document that things go wrong from the perspective of birth control.

Fool's paradise? Nahh...just a simpler world...
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:40 am (UTC)
I am curious, though... given that this was a Catholic all-boys school in 1973 (not really a simpler world, just a simpler view of things), what was his alternative? And I am not saying breakage never happens, but it is certainly not a high enough rate (and wasn't even then) to justify his statement.
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:54 am (UTC)
why, no intercourse, of course...they never came out and advocated abstinence, but they did harp on the fact that intercourse could lead to pregnancy and the complications that come with making a baby. Their attitude was, 1) condoms break, and 2) are you *really sure* that the girl took that pill? :-)
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:07 am (UTC)
pregnancy isn't an issue. impossible anyway. i should be fine....he recently came out of a marriage and my guess is he hasn't had time to sleep around yet anyway ;)
it is just the point, and my rotten luck.
of course, it was the third time... the first two condoms were just fine ;)
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:21 am (UTC)
Three times, hmmm? I shall cease to feel sorry for you right now. :P
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:24 am (UTC)
well, if preggers isn't an issue, and he's not high-risk, well, two out of three ain't bad...particularly if you had fun :-)
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:09 am (UTC)
And now that my rant above is done... 1) I'm glad you finally got to break your long period of celibacy--he seemed like a pretty nice guy. 2) Condom breaking sucks big time. I hope you don't stress too much about this, though. The odds are in your favor (don't you love it when people talk about life as if it were just a giant slot machine?). Let me know if there's anything I can do for you (rides, girl talk, booze...). Big hug from me.
Sep. 15th, 2003 06:01 pm (UTC)
he is a pretty nice guy ;)
i will take the booze and girl talk sometime anyway :)
thank you for the hug :)
Sep. 15th, 2003 04:43 pm (UTC)
Were you using planned parenthood condoms? Or GMHC condoms? I've heard freebie condoms break a lot. You might not want to use the stuff you're handing out for your own personal use. It's great to hand them out, and make sure people have them handy, or use them at all, but if you plan on being safe, then buy a box of name brand. I've personally had trouble with Durex and Lifestyle, and stick to Trojans. The others are hard to get on my particular shape for some reason. Also if you have any doubts about his history you should ask. You're both adults, and if it becomes a problem (I've had people get weird about it) then they probably do have something to hide. Protection for oral isn't a bad idea untill you're sure. There are now studies that claim oral can transfer HIV. I'm sure you're fine...it's piece of mind more then anything.
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:54 pm (UTC)
when i sat queen of safe sex, i mean it ;)
i hand out and use trojans. i have no doubts about his history, otherwise we would not have gotten that far, condom or not. i am very particular and no sex is worth my life. actually, no sex is worth even a little itching. i care deeply for my sexual health!
i work with HIV and AIDS a lot. i have for about 15 years. that is enough to be safe.
the studies about oral have been out for a long time. they are not new. there are a few documented transmissions this way.
HIV is not the big worry for me. and i do feel like i am probably safe. it just pisses me off that i finally have sex and the damn thing breaks!
Sep. 15th, 2003 09:57 pm (UTC)
well good. sadly, your fifteen years of experiences don't mean it's a given you have common sense. i knew girl online that worked for poz magazine, who used to jump into cars with random internet guys and suck them of sans condome. she'd swallow. then go to work the next day selling advertising for an hiv publication. i can't tell you how many friends i know who hand out condoms for various organizations that don't even realize oral has a risk...and will argue at first. even when it comes to std prevention, they're clueless. so i wasn't challenging your knowledge or ability to be safe at all. i'm sure there are people reading this response without your common sense that think they're real, real safe without realizing what's even a risk.
Sep. 16th, 2003 07:57 am (UTC)
true....lots of experienced and educated people lack common sense. for the longest i worried more about those things you can catch with a condom. maybe to an unhealthy point. but, bluntly, it doesn't go inside me until it goes inside my mouth :) i like to see, up close and personal, what i am getting.
besides i love oral sex...giving it (i am not much for being on the other end of it), but because of that risk, swallowing is very intimate for me and isn't something i do on a casual basis.
i can admit, secretly, that i love the control of oral sex ;) i don't care how much power a man thinks he has over a woman, she never has more than when she has his cock in her mouth!
Sep. 16th, 2003 01:33 pm (UTC)
i don't put too much stock in the idea that germs can pass through condoms myself. i do actually use saran wrap, and condoms for oral on a casual basis, because any barrier is better then none. not that i really do oral on a casual basis. i don't think it's a casual act. you must have some real faith in you god given talents if you think that would put you in a power position over me though haha. i've been lucky enough to be with some credentialed blowjob queens...but they never really rocked my world at least. i think i get so hard my penis goes numb or something. meanwhile. i would much prefer the woman is in somepower role when sucking a guy off...otherwise blowjob culture, and the whole thing of guys treating it as a demeaning act creeps me out. you'll meet a man who can change you mind about receiving it. i bet.
Sep. 17th, 2003 07:29 am (UTC)
saran wrap and condoms? my, you are doubly protected. i hand my crown to you ;)
power in blowjobs doesn't have to be an awesome talent. think about it, a woman has your cock in her mouth.....she can bring you to ecstasy or she can bite it off. that is power.
i've never heard of or thought it a demeaning act at all.
and i've been challenged lots of times that someone can change my mind about how i feel about being on the other end. i didn't mean to imply i don't enjoy it sometimes, but that it doesn't do a lot for me. i can orgasm generally only if it is a bit rough, but it sure isn't an earthshaking orgasm that i can get other ways. i would just rather give....
Sep. 18th, 2003 12:27 am (UTC)
..or she can be dull and unethusiastic...because I'd never let a woman put her mouth on my cock if there was any chance she'd be harming me. I've never felt like someone had power over me through oral...but that could just be the partners and dynamic so far. Who knows what was in their head...maybe it needed to be that kind of exchange in their head for them to even do it...that's possible, and it wouldn't bother me.
SO when a man has his mouth on your pussy you need it to be rough? Biting and tugging on your lips rough? Gimme pointers.
Sep. 18th, 2003 07:18 am (UTC)
i like everything rough.....
and, no, you don't know what is going on in her head. but i am sure it is nothing like:
ahh....that is the spot. he likes it here. if i do this, this way, i can make him squirm....and this makes quite a moan...just like this and i can make him cum....or i can change the motion just as he gets to the edge....and if i do this with my tongue while i move my lips like this, his toes will curl and he will moan at the same time......
biting and tugging on my lips...yes, a little. biting and tugging on my clit? oh, yes. my inner labias are pierced and i think doing so gave me the sensation of having two more clits. who would have thought inner labias could be so sensitive? i also have a triangle piercing (a very painful piercing that goes through the very top of the labias and behind the bundle of nerves in the clit). tug on that and get quite a reaction. i think what i like least about oral sex is slobbery oral sex. i want to feel tongue and teeth, not all the wetness. and noises....color me strange, but slobbery and sucking noises turn me off. even when i am giving oral sex....i think i've made an art out of just trying not to make noises... except, of course, moans. when he is getting into a blow job, i will cum over and over. this is interesting for me as a submissive because i don't think it is purely because i am pleasing him. i honestly think i am getting off on the control too.
Sep. 19th, 2003 02:15 am (UTC)
oh my. i like that. a lot. i like when anyone tells me bluntly how they want their pussy eaten. i also love when i'm told flat our of some secret spot. "if you lick me between my labia minor an labia majora i'll cum instantly" are some of the hottest words i've ever heard. an orgasm button! i like that i wouldn't have to be delicate with you or worry about my animal like teeth. i'm pretty clean and tidy about sucking a girl off but i really get in there, so i'm not sure how i do that. i love saliva though. i hate the idea of a saliva free blowjob...but... you'd probably be the first to make me cum from one. i have a feeling your dry technique would do the trick. i don't think i've been with a girl that was totally in the zone doing it to me. oddly enough they were all braggers of their oral skills and how much they liked it...but none of them seemed like they'd cum from it. you're so good. your partners pleasure makes you cum.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )


don't fear death
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wandering does not make you a "gypsy."
why would you call yourself
after those who have no home?
long skirts and hoop earrings
do not make you a "gypsy."
why do you call yourself after
those who have no clothes?

"gypsy" is pejorative. please don't perpetuate the stereotype. educate yourself on what it really means to be a "gypsy" in this world.

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