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help me write an ad ;)

there is this sailing magazine i read..... for months there has been one personal ad among the classifieds. i am sure it is a joke and written by the editor, instead of "Bubba", but each month it gives me a laugh.

this month:
Single male seeks double-jointed supermodel who owns a brewery and knows how to hydroponically grow cannibas sativa in small spaces. Access to free concert tickets a plus, as is have an open-minded twin sister. If the above attributes are all in order, knowing how to sail is not necessary.

from last month:
LIVE ALONE SAILOR with unique cement boat looking for relationship with foxy lady with lots of money. Exotic dancers whose family members work for law enforcement are tops on the list. Women from Keokuk, Iowa need not apply. Woman I am looking for must know how to sail, cook and clean, in that order. Send your best recipe and acknowledge which gourmet markets you prefer shopping at. Am drinking Cribari by the gallon now, but would like to know more about bottled wine - snap-cap or corked, it makes no difference. If you like to sail and don’t mind a few roaches in your life, this may be your golden opportunity. If you know how to sew and have your own fishing gear, so much the better. No rap music fans, please.


the "Bubba" stories in Southwinds are hilarious. Not long ago, Bubba won a regatta by setting up a screen projector on board and directing a porn flick on his head sail to keep everyone behind him. genius. i want to get to know this man. ;)

i was going to answer this ad, but since i am not a supermodel, can't cook, can't sail (not enough to count anyway), do mind roaches, and don't have a twin sister, i have decided to work on my own ad to be placed next to his and see what happens. i need some help with this one.....use your creativity and help me write this ad ;)

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
doudance
Aug. 27th, 2003 09:59 am (UTC)
ok...this is my input for the ad next door to bubba # 2
SAUCY SAILORETT with unique houseboat looking for relationship with hot dominant man with lots of money. Erotic and deviant (must be good with a single tail, flogger, knife and other various tools of torture)whose family members work for law enforcement are tops on the list. Vanilla (no matter what kinda twist you THINK you might have or want to experiment with)need not apply. I am looking for a truly Dominant Man that must know how to sail, doesn't mind if i don't cook and clean, in that order. Send your resume with a list of BDSM activities and verifiable references. I will be having a cocktail with friends at the marina bar. If you like to sail and need a brilliant submissive woman life, this may be your golden opportunity. If you know how to "play" and have your own BDSM gear, so much the better. PS:must be willing to assist in my many social outreaches.
melissamuse
Aug. 27th, 2003 05:02 pm (UTC)
Re: ok...this is my input for the ad next door to bubba # 2
great! i wanna be a little more subtle on the BDSM stuff....a read between the lines kind of thing. like having a creative ability with knots.... :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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melissamuse
melissa muses (or maia, you choose)

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