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Aug. 21st, 2003

so i lied. i did want to know more about Chris. i went to a therapist once, a few weeks after. after talking with him a bit, i asked him a question that meant a lot to me. i wondered, i asked him, if it were possible that Chris picked a fight with me the night before so that it would be easier to do what he may have been planning to do just before he met me. after talking with B tonight, on the phone, i learned more about Chris and his "inability to have a firm grasp on reality." i am convinced that i really didn't have as much to do with his suicide as i may have once believed. i am not sure how to classify this feeling. i am also convinced he would have done it eventually. this is sort of a feeling of relief. if so, better then than when things may have become even more serious.
it is still odd.....these levels of separation that are quite slim.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 23rd, 2003 06:24 am (UTC)
*hugs* just went through the frights again myself. Sometimes intense emotions bring it out, but it really doesn't have anything to do with anyone else...it's just a darkness and it's terrifying at times. I have different ways of coping with it now and better friends. I don't think it will ever go away and i imagine one day it may completely catch me again.
Aug. 23rd, 2003 08:06 am (UTC)
no frights for me. i think i am, at last, at peace with the psychological demons Chris left in my closet. i just thought it was odd that i begin communicating on a somewhat potential level with someone who knew him, and knew him fairly well. i've always lived in the light. Chris just cast a shadow on that for about a year, but it is time to move on.
i am sorry you have so much darkness in your life. but, as Cohen says, just remember....there is a crack in everything. that's how the light gets in. think positive. i believe if you face the darkness completely it will go away one day. you may need to talk to someone on a regular basis to do this, but you will be better for it.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


don't fear death
melissa muses (or maia, you choose)


wandering does not make you a "gypsy."
why would you call yourself
after those who have no home?
long skirts and hoop earrings
do not make you a "gypsy."
why do you call yourself after
those who have no clothes?

"gypsy" is pejorative. please don't perpetuate the stereotype. educate yourself on what it really means to be a "gypsy" in this world.

Who are the Roma?

Decade of Roma Inclusion

Dženo Association

European Roma Rights Centre

Roma Balkans

Roma National Congress

Romani World



Rroma Media Network

Soros Roma Initiatives

Studii Romani

The European Union and Roma

The Patrin Webjournal: Romani Culture and History

Voice of Roma
World Bank Roma Initiatives

Have a Happy Day! :)

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