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life prints

i was thinking last night how much other people in our lives, throughout the past, affect who we have become. i haven't had many emotional relationships, but each one i have had has impacted what i have become. there are people who have left lingering touches upon my life.

-Kent, my first serious relationship, which i wrote about in my "first experience" post, left me knowing that i need a dominant man in my life if i am to be half way content in a relationship.
-my marriage confirmed this.
-Ben taught me that i have a heart and can love "controlled and uncontrollably". but it also taught me that i needed more than the two of us could have together.
-MS helped me to accept myself in all my darknesses....that my darkest fantasies could be shared and realized...
-and Chris....if Ben taught me that I could love, Chris showed me how fully I can surrender, but he also taught me that if things seem absolutely perfect, something under the surface is dreadfully wrong. i learned also the impact of my actions on others.
-my father probably makes up the most of what i have become....not only did i strive to make him proud of me and the things i have accomplished in my life, but i wanted to be like him.... strong, confident, successful and independent. though he has been gone for many years i always feel a great part of him living within me. he was an incredible man.
-one of my previous bosses whose habit of carrying around a fat little notebook i picked up and would now be lost without my notebook.
-they say SM is the gratitude, all your life for the one who brought you out. dimmie, wherever you may be, i thank you for bringing me out.
-briarroseno friendship survives dark tunnels and helps get to the light, even if it is the oncoming train
-Eric for proving to me that not all male friendships are contingent upon sex
-steveO for the same and showing me friendship also has no distance barriers! states or countries...
-all the people who have touched me in my work.....my tibetan friends who taught me no matter how rough things are there is always a place for a smile (and that are brains are like drunken monkeys!). my kids who teach me little lessons every day.
-Buddha and HH Dalai Lama, the dharma and the sangha....teaching me compassion, nonmaterialism, egolessness...the noble truths and the path. sometimes i think the dharma is my only grip on sanity!
-my mother....oh, shall i count the lessons?????
-friends from NOBLE and the WAPOM list who supported through the nastiness that happened after Chris died. few things in my life have touched me as deeply
-the one who started the nastiness....i've often believed all people are genuinely good....this person showed me that is so not true and i need to be more cautious than i've been
-cohen, though i surely don't know him, his words have inspired me to joy and tears and words of my own
-Mrs. W, my first really good university english professor, who, when she busted me for writing term papers for other people, gave me the option (if you could call it that) to change my major to english (or else)
-last, but most important, my son, who gave me strength and pride. who has grown into a compassionate, young man and who, through me, has many of the things i have become (and hopefully none of the bad parts)

of course there are others.....and when i stop and take a moment to think of the people in my life, i realize i am a lucky girl. thought my life has been sprinkled with negative people, it has been flooded with good hearts.

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don't fear death
melissamuse
melissa muses (or maia, you choose)

Roma

wandering does not make you a "gypsy."
why would you call yourself
after those who have no home?
long skirts and hoop earrings
do not make you a "gypsy."
why do you call yourself after
those who have no clothes?

"gypsy" is pejorative. please don't perpetuate the stereotype. educate yourself on what it really means to be a "gypsy" in this world.

Who are the Roma?

Decade of Roma Inclusion

Dženo Association

European Roma Rights Centre

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Roma National Congress

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Soros Roma Initiatives

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