October 25th, 2008

leaf on the wind

(no subject)

k this is one of those self-pity posts, so skip along....

i am feeling awfully lonely this weekend. just when i think i have a handle on being alone - and actually liking it, the lonely bug creeps in. i am sure it will pass, but it has me thinking again. i do not want to go back into the personal ad thing, but i also don't want to go through the motions of going out to meet people - and if i did, the odds of meeting someone like me is about as high as palin joining NOW...it could happen but, uh, yeah.
so i read a few personal ads anyway. the idea of getting involved with a couple again scares the hell out of me. in theory, it is ideal for me. but most of them had undertones of live in housekeeper and "duties"...not my thing. that isn't a warm and fuzzy feeling. nothing remotely interesting in the one on one field, male or female, either.

it is sharing i miss most (yeah ok sex would be pretty sweet too). a bottle of wine on the deck these cool evenings, a ride on the lakefront, festivals, advice on all these grad school decisions (or someone to just make them for me!), a kick in the ass when i procrastinate studying or stay up much too late, hands in my hair...ok i am getting off track now....

i wonder if i will ever get over missing chris. i blame him for my seclusion, still.
  • Current Mood
    blah blah