there are many, many times i wish i hadn't been born an american. immediately to mind is the disadvantage of growing up in a country that shuns the rest of the world's units of measurements - the metric system. let's put aside the fact that i am already mathematically challenged. i have to relate these measurements to drinking bottles when i cook.... a small water bottle is 50 cl, a diet coke is 500 ml. my soup packet calls for 3/4 liter.... that, in my mind, is a diet coke and a half. i'll make soup when i finish my diet coke.....
(some of you locals may know already......word travels fast in our circles)
i'll start with a few drinks about a week and a half ago in a bar somewhere in paris.... linda was telling me about the last disaster with the third they were seeking in their relationship. sympathetic, but sincere, i told her that had i would have joined them.
her jaw dropped.
she said, "why didn't you ever tell us?" "why didn't you ever ask?"
smiles and moments of silence. perhaps it was the multitude of tall blue drinks, but i had no clue at that very moment linda's gears began to grind away.
now i can't even remember the moment, a few days later, when i agreed to take a place in their home. we've always all had great chemistry together and linda and i have been wonderful friends. i know i hesitated because of this... relationships tend to fuck up friendships somewhere down the line.
so, now that i have had a few days of sobriety (linda left thursday), caution and summer travel plans, but not adventure, to the wind.... i am going home for the summer.....
i don't do things on impulse. i rationalize, analyze and then, generally, decide against it when it comes to matters of relationships that come with any form of strings. but there is something more comforting about sharing strings....a little less commitment when you aren't being devoured by one person. and a bit more commitment when you share it all, if that makes sense. bah, it makes sense to me and that is all that matters ;) precisely because of my history, i have thought, for some time, that i may best fit in as a third. we all know my views on poly and monogamy.
meanwhile, i am back in prague at the moment. i will return to paris for a few days on tuesday, to london on saturday and then home on wednesday.