June 3rd, 2007

don't fear death

(no subject)

snagged from mysticknyght because i need something to do while i wake up with my kava.

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4:
was a young woman who greeted the boy with a friendly smile and

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you reach:

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
i don't have a tv so i can't think that far back

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
0912 (wow....i am never that good with time)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
traffic, pigeons, and church bells

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
a few minutes ago i went out on the balcony to feed the pigeons

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
mysticknyght's lj

9. What are you wearing?
pink striped jammie bottoms and a pink tank top

10. Did you dream last night?
not that i recall

11. When did you last laugh?
last night watching a movie

12. What are on the walls where you are?
a van gogh poster of sunflowers, a poster of a little boat on a palmy shore, little fabric flowers i taped to the walls, a framed print of the czech countryside that looks like it was drawn by a child

13. Seen anything weird lately?
i am an american in europe....lots of things seem weird :)
there is a guy who lives in the building across from me. from the hallway i see him reading is paper in a lawn chair in the mornings. i call him naked guy

14. What do you think of this quiz?
something to do ;)

15. What is the last film you saw?
i watched kinsey last night. it was really good.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
a sailboat

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
no ;)

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would it be?
no borders. anywhere. ever.

19. Do you like to dance?
yes....especially alone with the music blaring...dancing and singing where no one can see me!

#20 eliminated

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
sarah syvonne
i've always loved the name sarah and syvonne is my grandmother's name

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
i called him christopher patrick :)
he is my sunshine!

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
gee....ummmm....i dunno......

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
do you want to go back and do it again?

25.Tag six people who must also do this:
you are it.
bondage bunny

another long rant

i found this very distracting website yesterday. one link to another led me to some articles on radical feminism. i just had a class on women in politics, though much of it centered more around feminism than politics. when it took the class, i thought we may discuss the strides women have made in the political arena. maybe toss around some theories. instead the class was more feminist theories in general. i've always considered myself to be a feminist, albeit not a radical one. i think more inline with marxist socialist feminism and liberal feminism. see, i have a problem with radical feminists because i think some of their own causes oppress women. i take great offense when they tell women what and how they should feel. porn and sex work degrades women and they couldn't possibly, on their own, choose such professions. and being a submissive woman? bah....no way. societal conditioning must have made me this way and i most likely need help (from the radical women's movement, of course) to be stronger than all that.

NOW, until recently, had an official policy against sadomasochism:
"Sadomasochists seek to legitimize and provide a premeditated structure for violence. NOW opposes any repressive legislation concerning private consensual sexual activity between adults. Nevertheless, NOW opposes institutionalized violence as well as social structures which encourage or advocate the use of physical and psychological violence or domination among individuals. This opposition to violence precludes support or advocacy of sadomasochism as a feminist issue" .

this, to me, says what i am - how i feel - goes against the very grain of feminism, objectifying women and promoting violence toward them. who cares if it is consensual? surely, a strong, confident woman wouldn’t submit to a man. that is the nature of the woman’s power movement. my tastes, and other women like me, are personally responsible for undoing feminism. if feminism seeks to empower women, how dare they tell me that my choices are not valid or meaningful?

BDSM is, in itself, a gender/social paradox that finds fault and deviance with every role. see, our kind are weak women because they like to be dominated by men, women with anger issues because they like to dominate men, sissy men because they submit to women and men who surely must be misogynistic rapists because they dominate women (you know, it is like all gays are pedophiles.....give me a fucking break). submissive women fit into the ideal of femininity (if they are heterosexual), it is that femininity that causes us to want male dominance, which is, by society’s definition, “not in our best interest”. further, “while the connection between manhood and aggression is sexualized”, men who display aggression sexually are fundamentally abusers. (according to martha mccaughey) we are labeled, generalized, judged and must be saved from ourselves.

attraction and sexual desires are fueled by raw chemical reactions. acceptance, or denial, of that attraction is a social reaction. crossing gender borders in the gay community is an obvious social stigma. however, crossing gender borders in consensual power dynamics is a subtler, but equally judged, problem. everyone I know in this lifestyle, male or female, has spent considerable amount of time, often years, questioning their preferences because of the social constructs that have built their lives. every role in the BDSM lifestyle (and gay lifestyle) is against societal norms and gendered sexual scripts. our sexual orientation and sexual desires are in line with the paradox of human nature as a manifestation of cultural meanings, social relationships, and power politics. screw that.... you want to make a movement? make one that actually helps people who need it and doesn't judge what we choose to be!

i came across steven siedman’s two perspectives on sexuality: the sexual romantic and the libertarian. libertarians “believe sex to be benign whether as an expression of love or of pleasure, romanticists tie sex to affection, intimacy, and love." alternative, “perverted”, sexual activity falls under the framework of libertarianism. because libertarians do not see the meaning of sex as fixed, it is up to the individual, and not society, to determine what is right for him or her. siedman states, “a libertarian notion of consent’ thus replaces a romanticist notion of ‘responsibility’ as the ultimate measure of the ethics of any sexual activity”. “consent” is the most common word tossed about in the BDSM community. BDSM is different and unusual, the practice carries with it psychological and physical risk, therefore, open and preemptive discussion and negotiation are paramount. interestingly, vanilla relationships carry with them some of the same risks, but are often without negotiation, especially in relation to sex. the very concept of consensuality is often difficult to grasp in the face of society. we may believe what we are doing is consensual, but society (cough...radical..cough...feminists) assumes that we cannot possibly be in a decent frame of mind to believe so. therefore, we are non-consensually consensual and intervention is necessary. it must be good for us if intervention is led by feminists such as andrea dworkin, who seem to think I am not capable of consent because of my cultural programming to be submissive. thank goodness we have pat califia and camille paglia!

social constructs of gender are the enemy of individuality and the result of closed minds that inhibit sexuality, equality and freedom. as long as society, feminists included, persists in peering into our bedrooms and labeling our behaviors, according to perceived gender scripts, we will continue to question the validity and meaning of our own desires, often denying and replacing who we are in favor of conformity.