May 24th, 2007


(no subject)

i spent today in agonized misery. i have been waiting on the grade for my regionalism exam. last night i get an email from another student telling me that grades have been posted in the system (which, by the way, some professors use and some don't). i grade for me. the deal is, no grade and you failed. a little panicked, but told myself it just may not be there yet. i look again this morning around 7.30 before class. same. i have never failed an exam. a B and i am usually devastated. this one was an essay...a very broad essay question at that. it was to be two to three pages. i can be a bit long winded. mine was 7. i'd heard he was tough and i wanted to demonstrate that i knew the material, thus i covered almost every theory we had covered.
so, i go to his office today and posted on the door is a note: "all exams are in the system. if yours is not there, you did not passed. retake is 31/5 at 10.00."
great. now i felt sick to my stomach. i'd also heard that he can be rather subjective and some students have written his exams three times before passing. here, you get three chances to write an exam. bear in mind, though, that the exam IS your grade. there are no quizzes and miscellaneous tests along the way. i thought i had written a very good essay and i failed. surely, a better essay would net only a bit better grade, if that. i made it through the day...nauseous and wallowing in self pity.
i just got home....just in case, i check again. ahhh....a grade- 1. after double checking the grading system, i feel ever so much better. 1 = excellent.
thank you essay goddess.
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words misunderstood

Not that he lacks sensuality; he simply lacks the strength to give orders. There are things than can be accomplished only by violence. Physical love is unthinkable without violence.

"Why don't you ever use your strength on me?" she asked.
"Because love means renouncing strength," said Franz softly.
Sabina realized two things: first, that Franz's words were noble and just; second, that they disqualified him from her love life.

guess what i am reading.... way overdue. and it is moving me beyond words....