April 16th, 2007

cohen the future

(no subject)

i found a better way to control myself for orgasm denial....
at the height of the moment and the precipice of begging...
"do you love me?"
omg......that did it. not only the orgasm, but the whole fucking mood.

bear in mind, this isn't even in person.... we have only been talking on skype. planned to meet in june.

i don't play with those words. did he really think i would say yes cause i wanted to cum that bad? years ago there was a dom that i had been seeing for a few months. i remember quite well being tied to a post of the four-poster bed and beaten rather roughly with a whip. "tell me you love me." i said no over and over and he hit harder and harder. i have little doubt i would have let him beat me to a bloody pulp before i would have said those words, not meaning them. i think that was the beginning of the end. once we talked i discovered he loved me, but had that "who says it first loses" mentality.

i was excited...thrilled really, that i may have found someone to fill the void in my life. now i am just confused and it really sucks......
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed
don't fear death


sort of reminds me of the time i called eric to go do something and he says "what are we protesting today?" lol

thanks, MS, for the link to these guys. they are awesome!!