October 7th, 2005

don't fear death

a dream shattered

i went to work wednesday to help go through the apartments on the property and take pictures. most of the apartments, surrounding where we were for katrina, had a couple of feet of water in them and severely damaged roofs. we were truly quite lucky. it was awful though....the stench, the mold and worst of all, the animals left behind. they found the body of a vietnamese woman just a couple of buildings down from the center. i feel just terrible that she died while we were right there and could have helped her. the buildings were marked with the national guard’s big orange “X” that they had been checked, but they hadn’t. no doors or windows were broken down, minus about two and the doors of my center.
christopher found a baby alligator, still alive, in an aquarium in an apartment. we let it go in the lagoon.
we went to the marina. the search for my boat has come to an end. we climbed over the boats to my pier and christopher began digging in the rubble, something i hadn’t done. i was afraid to climb over boats when i was by myself. wouldn’t it have been great to survive all of this and die because i fell off a pier or toppled boats over with no one around to help? in the rubble, we found:
the metal, outside door to my bedroom
my big green tupperware bowl
the drawer to my jewelry box
my cat’s water bowl
the silverware holder that was inside a kitchen drawer and had a chair holding it closed
my kitchen trash can
my toilet brush holder

it is over. i gave up looking for anything else.