September 25th, 2005

don't fear death

checking in

in texas with a cousin for a few days. will head to mom's in mississippi this week now that all the water is out of her house. bought a 99' explorer with a loan against my retirement fund. at this rate, i just can't think retirement security. not much on SUV's but when they serve as temporary homes...hey, you take it.
i went back into the city last monday to see if i could find my boat. gone....gone. she is gone and i just don't get it. i found most of the boats on my pier up in the parking lot. i spent 3 hours walking the marina and hayne. if she were under surely i would see something of her poking out of the water.... just vanished.
the first few days after rescue i felt grateful to be alive. now i feel a little guilty because i am sad for losing everything i own.

nonattachment, i keep telling myself. nonattachment.

after we were rescued we had to go into a shelter just to get some shoes. the whole thing has been very, very humbling.

and i am grateful for the kindness of strangers, and near strangers.

chin up....chin up....
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