June 11th, 2004

don't fear death

letting go....and going

hiring someone is exciting. when someone first starts a new job, generally in my field, he is full of passion, ideas and commitment. if that person doesn’t truly have a calling to work in community development - and many don’t, it is low paid, sometimes very frustrating work - that passion begins to wear away, and it shows. someone will go from filling his work day with awesome contributions and even volunteering hours beyond those that are paid to coming in only when he (or she) is scheduled and filling that time with things that are really just killing time.
firing someone is not exciting. firing someone with whom you have become friends is even worse. and worse still is not only when the person you have fired becomes irate and difficult, but pulls the children he was supposed to be helping into the situation. i suppose a person can get so angry that the only thing he sees is how to be vindictive, without a thought of how actions may impact the future....not only his future, but the string of confusion he has left in words with children. whenever i have let someone go in the past, i have made it a priority to protect the kids. we have always been careful to never utter a bad word, telling the kids only that the person was moving on to other things...you know, the professional thing to do. yet today i have dealt with child after child coming in to question me about the things he told them....and dealing with a very long letter that was left under my door last night from one of the children. these children’s lives are complicated enough.....how could someone drag a child into what is clearly a personal vendetta.......
needless to say, this person’s reaction has me a little unsettled and i truly don’t want it to turn into a big thing. and the bottom line is that choice will be up to him. he plans to work, in the future, with one of our major partners...with youth again. i hope that he will stop to think that if you are going to work with children, regardless of what happens in your life, you always have to do what is best for the children.
when you work somewhere and you are not going a good job, surely you *know* you are not doing a good job???