September 20th, 2003

don't fear death

(no subject)

this week my boss' boss started emailing me....two or three times a day. she wanted to know everything that was going on at the center. she wanted to know all my meetings. it was a little strange. i haven't spoken with her since we met for coffee a week before i was offered the position of taking over and reviving a stagnant community center. something she said upset me. she told me she wanted to be sure her vision for the center was my vision for the center. and then she said she wanted to start a program to make the residents proud of their community, "adopt your community."
i simply told her that our visions were not in line. i want to fuel them to get out of this community, into homes of their own or, at the very least, out of section 8 housing.
they hate where they live. i use this. i use this as fuel to motivate them to get the hell out. she owns the property and one may think this would go against her business sense, but it shouldn't. section 8 should be temporary housing and ours has a waiting list of 3 years.
i also told her, as i closed my response to her, that we needed to meet and talk soon....that i may not be the right person to run the center.
i don't know what has happened to spark her interest in the center. someone suggested to me that it may be all the recent media we have attracted.....maybe she needs to know better what is going on if people ask her about it. either way, her tone is not comfortable.
she knows very well i will not work somewhere if i am not able to do what the community needs based on needs asessments and if it is not in line with my core beliefs. this is how she found me in the first place. i am good at what i do. i have a track record to prove it. it may sound egotistical, but i work very hard and very long hours.....more unpaid than paid.
she is business, not nonprofit. there is a huge difference in frames of mind between the two. she also said she doesn't want the center open late. there is no other time to offer the many adult education classes we offer to working parents.
i am a bit confused and disheartened. i have spent a long time turning a closed center into a hub of community activity serving about 200 people a day, single handedly with only a handful of recent volunteers.
i hope it isn't time to brush up my resume. i am proud of my community and i have become attached to it.