August 21st, 2003

don't fear death

(no subject)

i thought i would share this. it is on my website, and i so love it.....

Sometimes she will say yes very softly, on an angel's wings. She will slowly look away, face the painting on the wall or the petals in the bowl, listen to the twin promises of fear and ecstasy, then she will look back at me with total acceptance, no heavy resignation or fake petulance, she will look back straight and deep in my soul and she will breathe, yes.

I will hold her chin in the palm of my hand, I will drink her fresh baby breath, bring her close to me, her heartbeat a little faster, her heat a little sharper, nipple already blooming against the palm of my hand, her breast plump and heavy like ripe mango, I will squeeze her against me so that she feels my hunger, my forceful need to bite into her antelope flesh.

I will lick the back of her neck, inhale deep the promise of sweat in her hair, pull her nipple a little harder. Some times she will say yes with her mouth shut open, the gag fully stretching her lips, she will simply nod to the strict leather corset that will mold her into a plentiful sacrifice, to the tight ropes that will better force her to offer herself, to the whip that will help her sing new strange songs she never knew she could compose, she will says yes with her eyes in my eyes and I will taste everyone of her sighs, every sharp note of pain, every whimper of joy.

She will say yes by the tones of her skin, the sudden waves of red across the dunes of her belly or the inside of her thighs as she opens to receive my fingers, as she arches back to present me with the peachy fruit of her ass, she will say yes with musky releases of sweat when the pleasure is so strong that words are not good enough. She will say yes by carefully kneeling on the burgundy carpet, fragrant like an arum lily under the sun of July, place her mouth where my heat wants release, she will say yes by turning her head as I approach the bed where she is spread wide, she will say yes and yes again in her slow moans, her tight motions, without thinking anymore, her yes panting around my lips and my fingers, buckling against the ropes, grunting against my dick, each surprised whisper a thank you, each muffled scream an encouragement, each release a testimonial.

I like the way she says yes. The way she trusts me to play with her, to travel with her to places where joy is a rich blue note with a deep low pitch that travels every moist nerve ending, she is the giant kite with dragon wings, I am the rope that lets her rise and play and that safely brings her back. She is my music and my instrument. I love her.


by Claude Michael

i've often looked around for more of his writing, but can't seem to find it......
don't fear death

(no subject)

i haven't been very productive this week. just one of those weeks where i can't seem to get myself motivated. i finished one proposal, but that ia about all i can say i did. today i am determined to at least get to the bottom of the paperwork on my desk and return phone calls.
don't fear death

(no subject)

my eeoc ducks are in a row and now i have to fire someone. even though i think it is well deserved, i hate this......
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don't fear death

(no subject)

so i lied. i did want to know more about Chris. i went to a therapist once, a few weeks after. after talking with him a bit, i asked him a question that meant a lot to me. i wondered, i asked him, if it were possible that Chris picked a fight with me the night before so that it would be easier to do what he may have been planning to do just before he met me. after talking with B tonight, on the phone, i learned more about Chris and his "inability to have a firm grasp on reality." i am convinced that i really didn't have as much to do with his suicide as i may have once believed. i am not sure how to classify this feeling. i am also convinced he would have done it eventually. this is sort of a feeling of relief. if so, better then than when things may have become even more serious.
it is still odd.....these levels of separation that are quite slim.