June 16th, 2003

don't fear death

nymph notes

my sex drive has suddenly kicked into overdrive. it must be a hormonal thing. i'm sure this long stint of celibacy has nothing at all to do with it. i so envy those women who can have casual sex. every now and then it gets to me. i don't sleep well, i feel always on edge and just a tad bitchy. i typically go along alright, as long as i stay busy and don't think about it. but, i think, this little episode of phone sex (something i don't normally get into) i had a couple of weeks ago woke up the little animal in me. it must have been better for me than it was for him, because he hasn't called back. not that it matters a great deal, it was just phone. ;) it irritates the hell out of me when i reach the point where i start looking at men i know, and those i don't, and wonder how good they would be in bed. when my eyes, which should be focused on theirs, in mid conversation, wander to lips, to hands, and down. the recent conversations i'd had with someone led to a focused distraction on my state of mind, or, rather, state of libido.
i'm not celibate because i am a prude. i have had meaningless sex.... but it just leaves me wanting more. i need a strong mental connection....i need control....domination. i also have a healthy respect for my sexual health and don't sleep with people who sleep around. you can catch something even if you use a condom.

to borrow lines from cohen again..... i ache in the places where i used to play....

so with a frustrated sigh and in a bitchy mood, i am off to work.....


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don't fear death

just another manic monday

there are not enough hours in the day. i just got home from work and can't seem to summon the energy to do anything other than take a warm bubble bath and curl up with thien and the remote.
i've been invited to ride along in the wednesday night races this week. i am looking forward to it. if i can arrange my schedule i am going to try and go every wednesday through the summer. it is a good way to learn.
meanwhile.....off to bath and bed.
la la salama....
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