December 20th, 2002

don't fear death

falling behind

so i haven't done a great job keeping up with this blog.... i did for over a year and i am patting myself on the back for that anyway. :)
life has been crazy. i have fallen back into my old workaholic routine and am working about 60 hours a week. but, on a happier note, i am also back in the world of the living and regaining a social life. i have not only made it through two parties without losing my emotional mind, but have played at both.
i've also taken a new approach to play..... previously i've only had one or two close play partners, not being one to play casually. these days casual works just fine for me. perhaps it is because i understand that there will be little in my life beyond casual for some time to come. i like it this way.
for a while there i didn't think i would ever be able to return to the parties... back to that place that carried with it the memory of Chris and our last night together....to the place where i felt his ghost walked and watched. now, there is nothing there, nothing but me, my friends and some new strangers. he is gone...or i am moving on... or both. and i am truly ok with that.
i've moved into my new home, finally. i love the boat. i love waking up to the sun reflecting on the water, and falling asleep to the sweet rocking of the tide. my son has opted to stay at steve's for a while, where the high speed internet lives too. i have never lived alone and am still not sure what to make of it. i come home from work and everything is just as i left it. no dishes in the sink, no empty diet coke cans, no stuff strewn all over the place. i really like that part. the toliet seat always stays down. oh a little separation anxiety lives here too. but, it is good preparation, i suppose, for his parting for college next year. unless my bribes to get him to fo to school here work... on the other hand, i don't mind the dirty dishes to keep him with me another year ;)
don't fear death

quizzed out?

it is kind of like when you don't have anything to say quote someone! when you don't have anything to write, quiz it.

What is your favorite shop in the world?
the body shop....i am such a body lotion junkie.

Who is the person you miss most right now?
my father

When and where have you felt most comfortable being nude?
probably in the pool at the dive inn (nakie pool party wednesdays!). it is cool how water makes you feel like you weigh nothing so, in turn, it makes me feel skinny ;)

What is your most disappointing sexual experience?
if i had one, i have stripped it from my mind....

What would you most like to be remembered for after you die?
instigating world peace....

What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you?
that i collect souls in a jar...but i am so over that.....

What would be the best way to get rid of a dead body?
donate it to science...have you seen what they do to those things??

What is the poorest you've ever been?
ah, single motherhood and college.... peanut butter and macaroni and cheese.....ewwwww

What's the best thing you've ever tasted?
does this need to be food? ;)

What's the shortest time between orgasms that you've ever experienced?
seconds...mere seconds

What age do you want to live to?
133

What would you find hardest about being in prison?
internet

Whose thoughts would you most like to read?
politicians, great scientists

What have you lost that you'd most like to retrieve?
my mind? no, wait, i am better off without it..... my wallet was stolen a couple of weeks ago. it would be nice to have it back...

What was the most romantic evening you ever had?
the night Chris collared me and i admitted i was in love with him. we shared a sweet dinner at his favorite patio cafe, went to our little place along the river and then home....mmmm

What is the worst word anyone ever used to describe you?
cruel

What physical characteristic could you least tolerate in a mate?
bad teeth

What one part of your body comes closest to your ideal?
my left pinkie finger..... i dunno!

What invention has had the biggest impact on your life?
espresso machines.....wuuuuuuuh!!!

What is the least amount of money you would accept to never have sex again?
ask me again when i am 133.
don't fear death

The Friday Five

1. What holiday or holidays do you celebrate this time of year?
i love new year. i celebrate it twice...ours and losar, the tibetan new year. something about new beginnings....again

2. What was the best gift you have ever received?
it is the thought that counts....truly. i have been sitting here trying to think of the best gift and i can't..... maybe my green huffy bike when i was a kid. i wanted it soooo badly. after all the presents were opened and it didn't appear i was devastated. i knew for sure i would get that bike. sometime later it magically appeared beside the christmas dinner table. how sweet that was!

3. What was the worst gift you've ever given?
i generally give the same thing....immunizations for children in third world countries. the recipients get a little card that tells them so many children have been immunized in their name. it isn't a bad gift at all, but people tend to like something tangible. shame....

4. Where will you be celebrating the holidays? Are you hosting? Going away?
mommy's.... gumbo.

5. If you could spend the holidays with someone who isn't around, who would it be with? Why?
my father.... he was a blast during the holidays. i used to sneak around and open my gifts from him and then re-wrap them. i thought he never knew. but one year he had all of our gifts canned. yes! canned. oh, what joy it was to sit under the tree with a can opener!