November 2nd, 2001

don't fear death

10/29 - "There is a crack in everything...that's how the light gets in."

sometimes life has a way twisting itself without a move on your part. october has been a good month. i keep thinking about this guru i met in India in february who told me me that october would be a month for miracles in my life. now, i don't usually go for all that star stuff, but i think i will go see him again next time i am in Varanasi.though i lost a dear friend this month, i have been given new smiles from old friends. many of my dreams are coming to light and i have had some recent conversations that have renewed my hope of finding a heart home.
smiles...
don't fear death

butterflies on the flesh....

i am trying a new journal method from LiveJournal. Let's see how it works :) I like that it let's me assign a mood to my entries and even detects the music i am playing. it also allows you to comment on my entries...what am i opening myself up to? ;)
a little Cold Fusion and i can put it right on this page. and i love Fusion!!

so, i have been thinking a little this morning about a question someone asked me this week. he asked me if regretted the butterfly tattoo my Master gave me now that the relationship is over. the answer is, beyond a doubt, absolutely not. if it was a regret i would no longer have "In Memory of Butterflies" on Curiosa. the words there are true.

You are saying to the person you decorate, "I trust your constancy. I trust that you have told me the truth, and this is something you really want, not just for your life today, but for the person you will be in ten years, twenty, thirty. I trust that you will wear this with pride and affection, and never cloud my memory with shame or anger because I was the one who gave you these scars to wear."

it is just a day or two over four years now that our butterfly was painted on my flesh as he held my hand. no, i don't regret it. i will not regret it in ten years, twenty, thirty. to regret it would be to regret all that we were.

there is a story behind our butterfly which, for personal reasons, i will not share, but there is also a new story. a reminder of what was and a prediction of what can be. a butterfly is a symbol of new beginnings, an urging to spread my wings and fly. with him, i was given a new beginning. with each ending comes a new beginning.

i will always look lovingly upon my butterfly, cherish the past and bless the future.

peace....

maia
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don't fear death

webbin'

so, what do you think of the new look on the home page? i made a few changes all over. feeling a bit creative lately,
or just dodging packing?

smiles...

maia
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