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today i am a little angry.....i know it is normal. but i am working on compassion. i didn't say bardo teachings for him today and decided, rather, to let him get through today on his own. i will pay my own karmic debt for that. whatever.
he leaves me to deal with life alone.... to deal with his family... to meet his friends without him. just what the hell was he thinking? guess it didn't cross his mind that someone would go in to clean his house and give to me a basket of his sex life. i wanted the pillow we shared and got all the bedding with sex toys hidden in the folds of the sheets. a bit humiliating. a couple of collars that were not mine. gags that didn't touch my lips. things to toss out...things to maybe keep. i don't know. that basket seems to cheapen what we were.
there are things we were the family won't have in boxes....words we shared, secrets we whispered, dreams we began to weave....laughter in wine glasses, smiles over coffee on lazy Sunday mornings.... passages we shared in books on his shelf they will never know as anything other than pages and bindings....
this was the worst possible way to leave me.....



( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Aug. 14th, 2002 12:42 pm (UTC)
sleep well .... dream of Lake Ponchatrain after a rain and St. Charles Avenue early in the going home morning... a small demon on your pillow watches carefully over your rest ... glaring with fiery eyes at all who would disturb you..
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )


don't fear death
melissa muses (or maia, you choose)


wandering does not make you a "gypsy."
why would you call yourself
after those who have no home?
long skirts and hoop earrings
do not make you a "gypsy."
why do you call yourself after
those who have no clothes?

"gypsy" is pejorative. please don't perpetuate the stereotype. educate yourself on what it really means to be a "gypsy" in this world.

Who are the Roma?

Decade of Roma Inclusion

Dženo Association

European Roma Rights Centre

Roma Balkans

Roma National Congress

Romani World



Rroma Media Network

Soros Roma Initiatives

Studii Romani

The European Union and Roma

The Patrin Webjournal: Romani Culture and History

Voice of Roma
World Bank Roma Initiatives

Have a Happy Day! :)

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