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i know....i know...i know

i had coffee this morning with an old friend. i truly love him, but he drives me crazy! he is one of those pretentious know-it-alls, which, if you have read my journal any length of time, you know is one of my bigest pet peeves. people who really know a lot impress me, but people who fake it....well, sometimes i just want to put my hands around their throats and shake them until that gene falls out. he, like me, was an english major with an interest in sociology, and we were discussing my favorite - Marx, and my least favortie - monogamy. sometimes, when people act this way, i have a habit of making something up just to watch the response. i consider myself a very good judge of people when they lie. i think i got this ability from my great-grandmother...she always knew! so the fatal flaw went something like this:
me: well, ya know, Marx believed if we abolished private property ownership, we would no longer have a motive for monogamy.
him: yeah, i have read that...insert sociological technobabble here
me: he actually wrote a paper, that was later discovered, with Gustav Fröhlich explaining his theory about private property being passed along to heirs as the reason for monogamy because legitimacy would no longer be an issue ..... ....except that women would be exploited by being forced into marriage for financial reason as it would be difficult for them to find housing.... blah blah blah.... have you ever read it?
him: yes.....and something along the lines of him having a copy of it in his collection and some elaboration on exploitation of women without housing.

it is really just the opposite...what Marx said was that women would enter the labor force equally with men and would no longer be forced into marriage for economical reasons.................

and for kicks, Google Gustav Fröhlich ;-)

was i cruel?

explain to me, please, why "I don't know" is so hard to say? it also makes me wonder how much of what he said in previous conversations, that i didn't know, was accurate.

i love intellectual conversations, except when they are a force of power..."i know more than you know" kind of thing. if we open our minds, learn to listen and accept what we don't know, we have so much more to learn!

i've gone on and on here before about my nonsupport of monogamy and i can't even remember why it became a subject of conversation....

meanwhile, my new video iPod arrived today and i've passed my old one on to someone who was iPod-less... such a good deed. can you imagine life without an iPod? ;) my five must haves are an iPod, toothbrush, water, caffiene and my passport!

so...off to get my music and videos on to this baby :)

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Nov. 21st, 2006 02:32 am (UTC)
omg - "Pretentious Know-it-Alls" really bug me! lol... Yughch, such weakness. I often find its fear and problematic self-esteem that makes one act that way, so my heart goes out to them. They can be impossible and sad and boring.

Something similiar can be said about those whom remain steadfast in an indefatiguable, righteous belief about something which they profess but cannot explain, or which does not withstand debate. TFYSQA.

An intellectual conversation implies a force of power - the power of truth, which spares no one. People who play games with the truth or resort to personal attacks or emotional outburst aren't weilding power, but displaying weakness (usually defensively because they've entangled there ego and self-image in a debate of some kind). But yeah, an open mind that's informed and quick, with careful attention, sincere intentions, a realistic sense of humility and empathy are all bundled up and vital to an good conversation, and when they come together they often promote a good sense of humor...

I think maybe you were a little cruel, Maia... but it's really kinda funny; You claim, "...i have a habit of making something up just to watch the response. i consider myself a very good judge of people when they lie." Well how is one to judge such lies when they come from you? The error in this is that you've committed an act of bad faith, regardless of whether you are being lied to or not by another, you are eroding your own character and argument. You've made yourself complicit in a lie while being critical of such foibles in others. You've relied on a form of entrapment and the suggestion is that the end justifies the means. Perhaps there is a touch of cruelty in that... It isn't a very friendly tactic, but it can be an effective one...

It's not just hard, but almost impossible for people to admit to themselves, much less say, "I don't know." To admit such may open the door to a looming anarchy of existential crisis - a morass of questions so fundamental, they could threaten every value and notion,their life and very being... sometimes freedom hurts.
melissamuse
Nov. 21st, 2006 03:37 am (UTC)
i think i will hop off your analytical couch now....
(Anonymous)
Nov. 21st, 2006 04:22 am (UTC)
Ima justa musing witha youa! But I gotta wonder, is it my couch, or your Karma?
(Anonymous)
Nov. 21st, 2006 02:37 am (UTC)
"...my five must haves are an iPod, toothbrush, water, caffiene and my passport!"

- I guess you quit smokin'?
(Anonymous)
Nov. 21st, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
Fröhlich and Marx
I'm sorry Maia; you're wrong about that paper by Gustav Fröhlich and Marx - it was Julius Henry Marx, not Karl, who penned it. ;)Thankx for the link.
melissamuse
Nov. 21st, 2006 03:08 am (UTC)
Re: Fröhlich and Marx
hahaha, very funny. wow...he has a sense of humor ;)
slave_driver
Nov. 21st, 2006 03:52 pm (UTC)
I have often said three of the most intelligent words a person can say are, I...don't... know. It's a sign of intelligence and courage to not be afraid of our own ignorance. It's hard to admit when we don't know something, but it's essential if any kind of learning is to occur.
melissamuse
Nov. 21st, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing. - Socrates

i am still catching up on your journal!
slave_driver
Nov. 22nd, 2006 12:55 pm (UTC)
There hasn't been a whole lot to catch up on lately. I haven't been writing a whole lot in my journal. I've been writing for an APA and that has taken much of my time these days.
melissamuse
Nov. 22nd, 2006 04:22 pm (UTC)
well, i am still reading from katrina on.....its been that long!
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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don't fear death
melissamuse
melissa muses (or maia, you choose)

Roma

wandering does not make you a "gypsy."
why would you call yourself
after those who have no home?
long skirts and hoop earrings
do not make you a "gypsy."
why do you call yourself after
those who have no clothes?

"gypsy" is pejorative. please don't perpetuate the stereotype. educate yourself on what it really means to be a "gypsy" in this world.

Who are the Roma?

Decade of Roma Inclusion

Dženo Association

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